How to: Hypnotize yourself using your PC

Alter your mind using your computerFirst let me apologize for any strange things I might write in this article. I am currently in a state of hypnosis. Or at least I might be. I’ve always been intrigued by hypnotism and so I thought I’d try my hand at a bit of mind-alteration, using my PC. Believe it or not, there are loads of self-hypnosis applications and services available for download, ranging from titilating videos that make your eyes go funny to genuinely helpful software designed for motivation, fear conquering, or habit-breaking purposes.

Of course, the starting point for this kind of thing has to be YouTube. Type “self hypnosis” into the search and you’ll be presented with all manner of weird and wonderful videos. These range from a spinning wheel designed to make you feel like you’re in a psychedelic wonderland (it just made me feel a bit sick), to a ‘banned’ self-hypnosis clip which makes you a bit sleepy. Be warned though, because some of the apparently relaxing movies on here actually turn out to have zombies screaming or ghosts leaping out at the end of them. Hilarious stuff.

These videos may be mildly amusing but they aren’t going to change your behavior or provide any kind of therapy. For the more constructive self-hypnosis solution you could turn to Subliminal Flash, a program which uses subliminal messaging to help you improve your life. It’s very straightforward to use – first you tick the box that corresponds to the thing you want help with. Options include: ‘self esteem’, ‘slimming sensibly’, ‘attracting a mate’, and the seemingly all-conquering ‘happiness’.

After you’ve made your selection, the application will repeatedly project a series of messages of support on screen pertaining to that issue. They flash on and off so quickly that you barely even notice it, and can leave the program running all day safe in the knowledge your life is changing. Well, that’s the theory. I tried ‘stop smoking’ and ‘fear of flying’. Amazingly, after running the program all day I noticed that I was taking less cigarette breaks than usual. This indifference to smoking soon abated after I left the office though. I must admit too that I’m a little less petrified of the flight I’m taking next week, but we’ll see how it goes.

If you’ve really got sucked into this hypnotism lark then get hold of Virtual Hypnotist, which allows you to simulate complete hypnosis sessions. The application boasts its own script editor for creating therapy programs, as brainwave synchronizer that generates sounds to induce hypnosis, and a hypnotic visual maker for designing your own hypnotic effects. There’s even an AIM-compatible ‘HypnoChat’ feature whereby you can hypnotize your friends via instant messaging.

Woof woof gobble gobble I’m half dog-half-turkey. I am under your command. Take me to your leader.

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