I’ve just been reading about some interesting research from Indiana University which claims that women are much pickier than men when it comes to choosing a partner. The study reveals that females are much less willing to meet a guy after a first date than the man is, and that for most women, wealth is a key factor in choosing a partner. Being as I’m broke and repellently ugly I have to admit this news was a bit of a body blow. But then I remembered that all girls are a sucker for a bit of freeware or shareware and decided to put together a package of software that will instantly transform me into a babe magnet.
To start with, you’ll need to make sure that you and the lady that you’re lusting after are a good match. Download and install BioStat Professional, which analyzes your compatibility with another person based on the science of biorythms. If you find that you and the girl are a good match then tell her to install it and watch in amazement as she realises you’re ‘The One’.
Next, you need to start showing her that you’re a sensitive, caring man, so get downloading some slushy stuff and send it to her. I use Flourescent Beating Hearts, Blossoming Flowers Screensaver and the Winnie the Pooh Valentine theme, but any kind of romantic download will suffice. You could also try using the Unique Gift Maker to create a digital present for her, but only if you’re sure she’s worth it, because this can sometimes take up a couple of hours.
Hopefully this is all working well for you now, and your new squeeze now thinks you’re God’s gift to women. Careful though, because if you keep this up she’s going to start mentioning the dreaded ‘M’ word. If she keeps banging on about getting married then install Dream Day Wedding on her PC and she can have a pretend ceremony instead. This’ll save a lot of hassle down the line, I promise.
If none of these downloads have worked so far then you might have to resort to Plan ‘B’ – hypnotism. Using Virtual Hypnotist you can trick a woman into loving you through features such as voice recognition, speech synthesis, subliminal messages, completely customizable scripts, videos, audio, and more. If all else fails then simply download some wallpapers of hot chicks, put them on your desktop, and be done with it.