Star Wars Battlefront is here. This has led to a general buzz around the office – imagine the gentle hum of a Lightsaber – about all things set in a galaxy far, far away. After a little bit of happy reminiscing, our thoughts turned to the dark side, and we began discussing the worst games we have played that took their inspiration from George Lucas’s magnum opus.
Maria started us off, regaling us with tales of the 2001 Xbox game Star Wars: Obi-Wan. Placing you in control of the powerful Padawan, it was your task to guide him through his training on the path to becoming a Jedi Knight. Featuring a host of characters form the movie and that legendary battle with Darth Maul, it sounded like it should be good – unfortunately this was not the case. It looked awful with, Yoda’s appearance in particular managing to give the teenage Maria actual nightmares. Worst of all, it controlled like an arthritic Jabba the Hut.
When Star Wars: Yoda Stories was discovered by Danni in his local videogame store all the way back in 1997, he was thrilled by all that the PC game’s cover promised. Train as Luke with Yoda! Infinite levels! What could possibly go wrong? Well, pretty much everything it transpires. For instance, it turns out that “training with Yoda” basically consists of you becoming an errand boy. Not really what I anticipated for the hero of the rebellion. And you know what, looking at the gameplay, Danni might be right – this might be the worst Star Wars of all time. But that doesn’t stop my pick coming in a close second.
I went with Star Wars: Masters of Teräs Käsi, a game that used my own gullibility to con me out of fourth English pounds when I was 18. But this SoulCalibur style fighting game was a bad idea from the start, and I should have known it. You can’t put Darth Vader in an arena with anyone, let alone some unknown Tuscan Raider, and expect a fair fight. Unbalanced, grotty looking, and controlling horribly, Teräs Käsi’s only saving grace when it was released was that it got us even more excited for The Phantom Menace – and look how that turned out.
Did you play any similarly awful Star Wars games? I know there were more, so let us know in the comments. I’ll see you next week.
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